When I was three years old, my parents divorced. It has been difficult growing up in a broken family. I always felt alone. I learned how to be responsible and self- dependent. I also learned that the only way things would get better was if I did something. Although it wasn’t always easy, and there were times where I wished I had a different life, my parent’s divorce is what makes me who I am. It is what has influenced me to do my best in life and to live in the moment.
I am thankful that I was so young when my parents got divorced. I do not have a memory of my parents together. I feel like if I did, it would be highly negative. However, the memories I do have are anything but perfect. I remember my parents constantly yelling at each other. Another memory I have is constantly moving between both of their houses. I felt like I wasn’t a person, but rather an object of which the two of them shared. I hated the custody agreement that decided my life. I didn’t understand how a piece of paper could make such an influence on someone’s life. I wished for the day that I would be able to make my own decisions as to where I went and when. It made it different for me to find myself. I felt like I was always being told what to do and there came a point where I wasn’t sure if I was doing what I wanted, or what someone else wanted me to do.
For years I listened to my parents fighting. From the second my dad walked up to the door to drop me off, they would start yelling at each other. I would go upstairs and lock myself in my room. The last thing I wanted to hear was them fighting. After a while, they stopped seeing each other face to face. They started sending nasty emails to one another. The best part of this was when they would get me involved. For years my parents would ask me which one I liked better. I would never give them an answer because in the back of my mind I felt like I was hurting the other person. The thing that got me through this was the hope that one day I would be able to get away from my parents.
Looking back on my experiences with my parents’ divorce, I have realized that I really did learn a lot. Granted there are some things that I wish I did not know, there were some good things to come out of it. For instance, I learned how to be on my own. Although I was always offered help, I never took it. I felt like it was better to do something on my own, and actually learn something then to have help and not learn anything at all. I also learned about responsibility. I learned how to take care of myself and to handle everything that can be stressful in my life.
From an early age I knew that I did not want to go to college in New York. Something about just knowing that I am in the same state as my parents just does not appeal to me. I have spent so long trying to please my parents. I did everything they said, I tried to be that "perfect daughter." After a while, I realized that I do not want to do that anymore. I wanted the freedom that comes along with going to college. Something about being in another state makes it seem real. Knowing that there is no way that they can control what I do. This influenced me to work hard to be able to go to school out of state. I did whatever I could so that I was able to get out of New York.
There are some things that I wish I could go back and change. For a long time, I would have done anything to have a “perfect family.” I wished that I could be like my friends. I didn’t want to go back and forth between my mom and my dad anymore. Over time, I got used to my life as it was, but I still wanted more. I wanted to have that perfect life that everyone wants. A life where nothing goes wrong, it is just constant perfection. I am now thankful for everything I have been through. If it weren’t for my parent’s divorce, nothing would be the same. I would probably be at a state school and would just follow along with what my friends liked and did. I would not be where I am today. And most importantly, I wouldn’t be who I am today.
I am thankful that I was so young when my parents got divorced. I do not have a memory of my parents together. I feel like if I did, it would be highly negative. However, the memories I do have are anything but perfect. I remember my parents constantly yelling at each other. Another memory I have is constantly moving between both of their houses. I felt like I wasn’t a person, but rather an object of which the two of them shared. I hated the custody agreement that decided my life. I didn’t understand how a piece of paper could make such an influence on someone’s life. I wished for the day that I would be able to make my own decisions as to where I went and when. It made it different for me to find myself. I felt like I was always being told what to do and there came a point where I wasn’t sure if I was doing what I wanted, or what someone else wanted me to do.
For years I listened to my parents fighting. From the second my dad walked up to the door to drop me off, they would start yelling at each other. I would go upstairs and lock myself in my room. The last thing I wanted to hear was them fighting. After a while, they stopped seeing each other face to face. They started sending nasty emails to one another. The best part of this was when they would get me involved. For years my parents would ask me which one I liked better. I would never give them an answer because in the back of my mind I felt like I was hurting the other person. The thing that got me through this was the hope that one day I would be able to get away from my parents.
Looking back on my experiences with my parents’ divorce, I have realized that I really did learn a lot. Granted there are some things that I wish I did not know, there were some good things to come out of it. For instance, I learned how to be on my own. Although I was always offered help, I never took it. I felt like it was better to do something on my own, and actually learn something then to have help and not learn anything at all. I also learned about responsibility. I learned how to take care of myself and to handle everything that can be stressful in my life.
From an early age I knew that I did not want to go to college in New York. Something about just knowing that I am in the same state as my parents just does not appeal to me. I have spent so long trying to please my parents. I did everything they said, I tried to be that "perfect daughter." After a while, I realized that I do not want to do that anymore. I wanted the freedom that comes along with going to college. Something about being in another state makes it seem real. Knowing that there is no way that they can control what I do. This influenced me to work hard to be able to go to school out of state. I did whatever I could so that I was able to get out of New York.
There are some things that I wish I could go back and change. For a long time, I would have done anything to have a “perfect family.” I wished that I could be like my friends. I didn’t want to go back and forth between my mom and my dad anymore. Over time, I got used to my life as it was, but I still wanted more. I wanted to have that perfect life that everyone wants. A life where nothing goes wrong, it is just constant perfection. I am now thankful for everything I have been through. If it weren’t for my parent’s divorce, nothing would be the same. I would probably be at a state school and would just follow along with what my friends liked and did. I would not be where I am today. And most importantly, I wouldn’t be who I am today.